Yup. This is IT. This is my post. Every fashion blogger gets one post to vent, and this is mine. This is intense, so if you can’t handle intensity, or haven’t had your coffee yet, then I suggest closing the screen.
Let’s get deep!
This is my reminder to you, and myself, that none of us know what we’re doing!
Girls–we’re on the same team. Why do we consistently judge each other, put each other down, and try to make ourselves feel/look better when we’re no better than any other human being? Let’s take all that energy and apply it somewhere else. “Like, what?” Um, maybe we can chase the dreams that we’re all craving in the back of our minds. You know? Those dreams that we talk about over brunch? Yeah–THOSE ones.
We’ve read it a million times, but I’m going to remind you that we’re all living on this earth and none of us know what to do next! We may have a game-plan, but let’s be real, when do those ever work? You have to anticipate the curve ball, and understand that situations are, just that; situational. By judging how others handle their actions or emotions is unfair and unjustifiable. Take a step back and think, “Wait, I say I would handle this situation a certain way, but would I really? What would I really do?” I guarantee, you’ll instantly feel more compassion and understanding, instead of judgment, ignorance, or darkness.
Women should empower each other instead of being hateful and envious of one another. There is enough light for all of us!
Friends–Just like significant others, your friends don’t have to stick around. If a friendship isn’t mutually beneficial, why do you expect someone to want to stand by your side? “It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most! You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say, “That was shitty of you.” You have every right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.” And, don’t forget, other people have the right to hold these beliefs and standards with their life as well.
Research proves that we have the most confrontation with the people we cherish and love the most. So, before you cut someone out, think hard. Is this the best decision? Is this a toxic relationship or are we just two friends venturing into two separate seasons for a period of time? Your expectations for others have to be realistic, but also considers your best interests. There’s a fine line, and it’s hard to find that line. Let’s all make a pact that we’re going to stay away from people who can’t take responsibility for their actions and who make you feel bad for being angry at them, when they do you wrong. You are allowed to outgrow people.
My closest friends know when to build me up. They know when to give me space. They can read my eyes. They’ll cuddle me when I need cuddling in a crowded room. And, more importantly, they love me for all of my imperfections. Plus, they send me Snapchats of their cats, dogs, babies, and silly students everyday. These people know who they are just by reading these few sentences, which is incredible to think about.
Life–Nobody is ever too busy; It’s just a matter of priorities. Everyone is perfectly imperfect. Actions speak louder than words. Integrity is not something you show others; It is how you behave behind their back. You’ll be criticized no matter what. Be yourself, no matter how weird that may be. Do the things you’re the most scared of doing. Chase your dreams. Actions speak louder than words. Never settle. Throw sass around like confetti.
Your heart–“How are you still single?” Um, I’m single because I choose to be single. Every day I choose my solitude and goals, over settling. I like being alone. I have control over my own things. Therefore, in order to win me over, you presence has to feel better than my solitude. You’re not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones.
Recently, I finished a book that opened my eyes. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. Yeah–THAT’S the title! I mean, we’re taught to never judge a book by its cover or title, but this one…This one really spoke to me! Come on, who wouldn’t want to read this book with that title?
So, I’m going to end this post by sharing two excerpts from this lovely book, written by Jen Sincero.
“You are loved. Massively. Ferociously. Unconditionally. The Universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are. It’s got you wrapped in a warm gorilla hug of adoration. It wants to give you everything you desire. It wants you to be happy. It wants you to see what it sees in you.” ……..“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”
Now…Let’s play some Oldies, so we can dance it out, and focus on the important stuff. Fashion.
Photography: Kristine Cramer Photography